Christmas Gifts
by TheAnomily
Summary: It's Christmas at H.I.V.E and a certain somebody has the wonderful idea to turn Shelby into her three year old self.


**AN: Merry Christmas. It's that time of year when relatives you don't actually know come round and start hugging you (despite making it glaringly obvious that physical contact is a no go) and saying it is good to see you again, yada yada yada while you are mouthing "who is this?" That is, if you/ your family celebrate it. Whoohoo! I don't own H.I.V.E.**

It had been a fairly ordinary day at H.I.V.E. Nothing had been destroyed and all of his pupils were safe and accounted for. All in all, it would be a great day. Except for one miniscule detail: it meant chaos would inevitably ensue.

As Dr Nero watched the last of his final class- first year Alphas- leave the room, he sensed something move behind him.

"Natalya," he greeted.

"Sometime soon you must tell me how you do that," Raven said as she moved to stand by him.

"Do what?" He countered innocently.

"See me when to all others I am never there."

"I know everything."

"You didn't know that chair at the G.L.O.V.E. meeting was missing screws, which-"

"Okay, maybe not quite everything," he interrupted, his face turning a shade of pale pink that clashed horribly with his blood red cravat. He did not particularly want to recall the moment of pure humiliation when his chair collapsed just as he was reporting to Number One. To add insult to injury, his face had managed to land in the lap of Madam Mortis. Needless to say, her reaction was not very pleasant. "But that was years ago," he weakly argued. "Are you here for a reason, besides to bring up bad memories?"

"Well, as it's Christmas, I thought it might be... er, nice if I got you something. Besides, I still owe you."

"For the last time, Natalya, you have never owed me anything. Even if you did, you must have repaid me several times over by now." Nero paused and blinked in confusion. "Christmas?"

"You need to get out more," she commented.

"And you bought me a present?"

"Yes. I guess you could say that."

"Careful," he warned, "I might think you are getting soft."

"Never as soft as you, though, Max."

"Touché. Now, let me see what you've got."

Raven passed him a plain blue bag which held two items- a bag of sweets and a watch. Out of hunger and curiosity (mostly the former), he took the sweets out first.

"There is only one in here. And this certainly designed to hold a lot more than one," he accused.

"I wanted food, alright?" Raven put her hands up in exaggerated defence.

Nero turned his attention back to the food- if it could be called that- and wrinkled his nose. "It looks like what a rabbit would eat."

"It's edible, trust me. I'm still alive."

"How reassuring."

He popped it in his mouth and promptly turned crimson. He managed to suck it for a grand total of five seconds before spitting it out into his palm. His expression was one of unadulterated disgust. "This is revolting!"

Raven was chuckling at his overreaction, which caused her subtle accent to strengthen slightly. "It's not that bad."

"It is! It's the most sour thing on this planet! This is vile!"

"Don't worry; it gets better."

"Does it?" He asked sceptically. He received a nod in return. He put it back in._ No pain, no gain,_ he thought.

"At least, to me it does. Maybe not to you, seeing as you hate chillies..."

"I hope the watch is better than this."

"You're not going to eat the watch, are you?" Raven sounded genuinely concerned.

"You know what I mean."

Nero tentatively took the watch out, as if it would explode. It was a Rolex which had a gold strap and a black face with golden writing. It had to be at least twenty karat gold. And it was safe, which was always a bonus.

"This must've cost a fortune."

"Oh, yes. A minimum of fifteen thousand pounds I'd say, so I can imagine the man I stole it off will be rather annoyed once he discovers it to be missing."

"Natalya..." He mock- scolded.

"What can I say? I got bored."

However Dr Nero was about to respond, he was rudely cut off by the urgent beeping of his Blackbox. The Professor. That couldn't be good.

"What is it this time?"

"We have a problem."

"I know. What is it this time?"

"It'll be easier if you see this for yourself." As his screen went blank, Nero could've sworn he heard a shriek of "Santa!"

"Come on, Natalya. Let's go."

Dr Maximilian Nero forgot about the monstrosity in his mouth.

* * *

To say that it had been a 'problem' had been an understatement. Dr Nero knew that before he entered the science and technology department due to the extraordinarily loud conversation taking place.

"You are old and wrinkly. Santa is old and wrinkly. You are Santa. Ooh, ooh, can I see the presents? I want my present. Now." Judging by the voice, the speaker was under five years old and American. Why on Earth was someone so young at H.I.V.E? Or, more worryingly, did it mean there was a security breach?

"I am not Santa!" The Professor bellowed.

"Do we dare see what has happened?" Raven asked.

Nero sighed. "I guess we have to."

Taking a deep breath and crossing his fingers, he pushed open the door. Where were AI's when they were needed? Both the Professor's and the child's heads whipped around to face Nero and Raven. The unfortunate man was tied to a chair and had magenta lipstick smeared all over his face. The girl took one look at Raven and screamed in terror, dropping the chocolate bar she was eating. The actions caused the assassin to smirk, remembering when Argentblum "may have been needing the new underwear."

"Help! It's the Wicked Witch of the West!" The smirk fell right off Raven's face, replaced by a murderous expression.

"Does my skin _look_ green to you?"

"I will not become a monkey!" She ran to a desk which had an abandoned water bottle on it. "Never!" She screamed, scattering water everywhere, only one or two drops hitting Raven.

"Uh oh...Daddy, save me!" The plea was directed at Nero.

"Daddy?" Now, that was the weirdest thing he had heard recently, possibly in his entire life.

She ran over to Nero and clung onto his leg for dear life.

"What happened, Professor?" He enquired, attempting to get the kid off of him as gently as possible.

"I was demonstrating something to my class and Miss Trinity was assisting me in doing so. She obviously did something wrong because she ended up as a three year old! It's a relief her clothes shrunk with her, but that doesn't change the fact that she ruined my thirty day no disaster streak. It had the potential to become a new record, too."

"Whatever is the fuss?" Ms Leon and Colonel Fransisco had come up behind them. It was the cat who spoke. "My ears are highly sensitive, so I would prefer the yelling to stop." Ms Leon tried to glare at Shelby, but, well... She was a cat.

Shelby's face lit up. "Don't worry, fluffy unicorn! I'll save you from Captain Hook!"

"No, no, no, no, no, Trinity, no," Ms Leon protested as she ran away from the hyper child, who was laughing hysterically. Eventually the cat ran out of energy and got scooped up in the girl's arms. Shelby hugged her uncomfortably tightly; it felt as though all her bones were being crushed. Slowly.

"I've got my very own unicorn," she was walking over to the headmaster, "her name is Sparklecake."

Meanwhile, the Colonel and Raven were plotting how to best murder Shelby. Unfortunately, it did not go unnoticed by the subject of their discussion.

"Oh no!" She exclaimed, "the baddies are teaming up! Sparklecake, attack!" She threw Ms Leon into the Colonel's back. Pitifully, she started to slide down his military jacket and prove that cats did not always land on their feet.

"We need to fix this," Dr Nero said to nobody in particular.

"Christmas!" Shelby shouted, "give me my gifts, Santa! Or she will get it." She pulled out the lipstick, neon yellow nail polish and a brush as she grabbed Ms Leon. But- apparently- a makeover was a no go with her, which she showed by scratching Shelby's face.

"Daddy, Sparklecake was naughty. Slap her bottom."

"First of all," he replied, "I am not your dad."

"So... So you're the Wicked Witch's friend and you're dressing up as my daddy?" She looked around to find the Colonel and the Professor gone.

"Santa!" Shelby started running around the room, looking for him in the most ridiculous places (in a conical flask was one of the more interesting ones). She seemed to be on the verge of frustrated tears. The adults felt the same way, but for a very different reason. Unexpectedly, she turned to Ms Leon, "and so now you will get it."

Nero had a plan. He snuck up behind the crazed child and mercilessly shoved his sweet in her mouth. It was nearly finished, but that meant she got the worst part. He took a cloth from a worksurface, frankly not caring if it was soaked in poison, and gagged her so she could not spit it out. Understanding what he was doing, Raven took the rope the Professor was tied up with and bound her hands. Revenge was clearly best served sour and spicy, because Shelby was definitely "needing the new underwear."

"What are we going to do with her?" Ms Leon enquired, looking at the crying child. She almost took pity on her. Almost.

"I don't know. We could put her in a cell until we figure out how to reverse the process because she is evidently too mad to be left on the loose."

"Really? Whatever gave you that idea? And Raven, you could be helped me when I was being chased. Why didn't you?"

"I don't help people who threaten to draw on my precious katanas."

"You are okay though, Tabitha?" Nero checked.

"Yes. But Fransisco's coat is in desperate need of a wash."

"I hate to say this, but that foul thing may have saved up all," Nero commented, "thanks, Natalya."

* * *

Otto watched quietly from the above ventilation shaft, being sure to capture every moment on film. He should make a lot of money- well, there was no money at H.I.V.E, so a lot of ice cream- by selling the clip.

"I hope you enjoyed your Christmas gift," he murmured for the camera, " but even if you didn't, that's what they deserved. Shelby for calling me Welsh. The Professor for not making his devices unalterable. Dr Nero for putting me in detention-"

"Which is exactly where you will be at seven this evening," the man in question called up, "have you not heard of echoes?"

"Oh, _great._ Exactly what I wanted for Christmas. He should be be glad I made it reversible," he said, pressing a button on the tiny device in his pocket. There was a flash and three year old Shelby Trinity was replaced by the one they were (sadly) accustomed to seeing.

"It feels as though a million tanks have been exploding in my throat and rubbing Toxic Wastes on the wounds," she stated. As she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Otto's hair and his eyes dangling from the ceiling. "And who does the husky belong to? I want to brush it."

"No," Nero gasped in horror.

"Yes," Ms Leon encouraged at the same time.

"Wait, what? Guys? Did I miss something?"


End file.
